Hello friends,

As a young woman of color in Corporate America, it is really easy to get caught up in the business world and forget to take a step back.

I have been incredibly lucky in regard to those I've been able to learn from. Perhaps one of the greatest sources of support came from our (now) former Head of Americas - Lily. (No, that is not her real name.) Lily is also a woman of color - and I had the chance to get to know her and be coached by her. It was the first time in my life that I had someone to really look up to in that way. The women in my life are all strong and appreciated. However, Lily had this hunger and you could just see it.

In my first days at the company, Lily was one of the people I reached out to. She was newly promoted at that time, and I wanted to learn from the best. I spoke with her (as well as a few others) to learn the ropes, and she became of my mentors at the company. Over time, she climbed even higher and oversaw the entire region before she pursued a different opportunity closer to her values.

Today, we're taking a look back at what I was able to learn from her.

Companies and you

The first takeaway I want to talk about is that companies don't care about you - that's a fact. Why? Companies are not people.

Citizens United v. FEC (2010)

Side point: The term "Corporations aren't people" was coined during protests hoping to limit corporations supporting politicians. If you're interested in that piece of (important) context, check out this 3-minute video.

Back to the topic at hand - companies exist because people want profits. In every single business plan ever, there is a section where you analyze profits.

• How are you selling?
• What are the overheads?
• How will you make a profit?

It makes sense - you offer a service, and you want something in exchange for the good/service that you provided. However, the end goal is the same: profit drives decisions.

Company antics

How many times have you heard that a company will:

1. use outsourcing techniques to hire cheaper labor?
2. Switch insurance plans to reduce the overall cost to the company?
3. Reduce company benefits changing to accommodate for the increasing headcount?

Fun fact - all three things happened within the past year at my company.

Unfortunately, these aren't things that are rare. I've seen it happen to my mom who worked at a relatively stable company. For me, this is the second company I've been with where I've experienced something like this.

Previously, the company I was working for didn't make enough money, so they used the funds to pay back their investors first. In turn, insurance wasn't renewed on time as the company paid the bills late. This resulted in my coworkers' insurance claims being denied. Think about that.

You spend 8 working hours (if not more) at this job. In turn, you hope for some money in exchange for benefits to take care of yourself and your family. One day, your paycheck is late and your insurance has lapsed due to no fault of your own.

Unfortunately, chances of this happening are increased if you work in start-ups or if the economy is experiencing a recession... or simply if your company is growing too fast and needs to slash some things in the budget.

In the end - everything leads back to money. This is why a lot of us go to work:

1. Work.
2. Make money.
3. Take care of yourself (and your family).
4. Hope to have enough to live/live comfortably.
5. Get rich if your situation allows.

However, for companies, it's like this:

1. Secure funding from investors to get started.
2. Once off the ground, hope to do well in the market to make sales and increase service availability.
3. Run your operations by paying your employees, etc.
4. Payback investors the funds that are invested in the company.
5. Rinse and repeat.

On Investors

Investors aren't typically philanthropic, so they'll be expecting a return on the investment they've advanced to your business. 

How Do Investors Get Paid Back? - James Griffin Cole

If you have a minute to read a little about how it works for a company to uphold its end of the bargain, you can read the basic need-to-know information on this site (Investopedia) as well. This also goes into detail about series funding. As this post isn't meant to be so heavily leaning into how company funding works, I will defer to that site if you're interested in learning more about what series funding is.

All you need to know about series funding:

Okay - so now that my (not so) quick debrief on why companies are driven by money and are not so incentivized by making people happy is complete - let's talk briefly about who does care about you.

Colleagues

As opposed to thinking "my company cares so much about me," I recommend pivoting to "So and so at my company cares so much about me."

In the end, companies exist not to care about you, the employee -- but to serve, survive, and thrive. Oftentimes, we say "X company gives me such amazing benefits." However, we're not thinking of the people element of that. Company decision-makers may care, but remember that there's always a hierarchy.

In the past, when I felt like I was heard and cared for at a company, it was never the company that cared about me and my well-being, but rather, individuals who work at the company that care. Team members, supervisors, team leads, directors, etc., are among those who care.

All in all: When a company says that they care, it's more about branding. When a person says that they care, it's about the connection.

Kindly take no shit

The second takeaway I had from my time with Lily is how well she was able to connect with all individual contributors. Regardless of your position or title at the company, she made it a point to make you feel heard and seen. She was very sweet and kind to others, however, she also conducted herself very well in a commanding manner. I like to describe her style as somewhere between a conversational hug and an "I'm the head of an entire region - so listen up." Not sure what to call that energy - but it was very effective.

There were some of us that were lucky enough to be coached by her directly in one on one's, and no matter how confident you were in how you handled something - there was a good chance that you would walk away feeling like just maybe there were other ways to approach the situation. It isn't so much that she's not validating - because she often is (unless you royally mess something up). However, in a very gentle way, Lily would ask the right questions to understand and make you back your statements up. If there is any hesitation at all, she will make you explain it directly to her as she asks you more questions. By the end of it, you will feel grateful to have connected with her - but also very reflective on how you could've handled situations better. This isn't to say it was in a gas-lighting way. It's just to show that there may have been other and possibly more effective ways to approach a situation.

It's this growth mindset that she leaves you with that I think is incredibly valuable.

Work-Life Balance

At the peak of my neuroticism (not that long ago), I was pulling 5 AM-6 PM easily. This led to my burnout and it's hard to kick this habit of over-working. It is easier to do as it's a global company, and I speak with people from all over the world. It's hard to coordinate meeting times sometimes, and it feels wasteful to waste whole work days. Additionally, I love to help others. Sometimes, it feels like I'm in calls more than I'm actually performing all of the things I want to do for myself. Between random calls to help colleagues with new problems, client meetings, and various team meetings (of different hours), it was easy to work more than the typical 8 hours.

Kind note: If this is you - stop that.

Pretty soon, I was very burned out. I ended 2022 feeling incredibly unhappy, unmotivated, and unenthusiastic about anything - it was like I'd hit a wall. I confided in my managers and Lily. She, and my other team leads, reminded me that this business (or any business) will not give back to me as much as I give to it. In general, it is easy to say "just 15 minutes more" after you've set a boundary on when to leave for the day. However, it is incumbent on you to enforce that time constraint.

Not to mention - it doesn't make sense financially if you're salaried. If you are salaried and work longer hours, you are effectively making less per hour while also not contributing anything to your life that makes you more whole and well-rounded.

Set boundaries

If someone schedules a meeting after a certain time, decline if it's not an absolute emergency. Delete the apps if you keep checking them. Or, if you need a little help in the self-control department when you see a notification after hours and feel compelled to log on, delete it. Snooze it. Do something to change the circumstance.

It was pretty remarkable, but my new team lead is pretty aggressive with telling me goodbye if it hits 4 or 4:30 PM. She knows I get on at around 6 AM (if not earlier), so if I'm still on around the 4 PM mark, she'll simply say: "byeeeeeeeee" - and that's my cue to get the heck off.

Listen, work is a means to an end. We should not have our entire lives wrapped around and dictated by work. Think about how much time we already spend at work. How much more time are we losing by sticking around longer? How many minutes with loved ones? How much playtime with our pets? How much relaxation and recharge time are we missing out on by sticking around work longer than needed?

Always be interviewing

This is one of the more interesting takeaways from my boss.

She said to always keep your CV updated, and to always be interviewing. Even though she enjoyed working with me and the rest of the team, she was a firm believer in supporting people to reach their goals. As such, if she thinks that you may be happier elsewhere, she is happy to help you in that development. This is different than the leadership style of managers I've had in the past.

Typically, managers tend to look out for the company. I can't tell you just how many times I've had a manager tell me that I shouldn't leave a job, etc. Of course, it was always framed in this way: "Oh my gosh, ML - don't leave! You're going to be so missed!" However, with Lily, she's more: "I love working with you. You do really well at your job, and you're going to be successful anywhere. However, if you think there's a better fit for you elsewhere, that's perfectly okay. My goal is to not stunt your growth."

*shooketh*

This was actually her message to us from the beginning. Honestly, because I've experienced different styles before, this made me respect her a lot from the get-go. To this day, she reminds us that she's available for references, or if we need help looking over our resumes or figuring out how to best market ourselves. I personally think it is so special - and such a unique quality to have in a boss. I don't even know how to convey that this is something I am so appreciative of. (I guess, if she ever stumbles across this post, she'll know, haha.)

Impostor Syndrome

Look - this one is kind of hard for me to talk about because I'm definitely guilty of this. I actually have a separate post on how to battle impostor syndrome here. Trust me, it's a full-time job to work on this piece of self-development. My impostor syndrome hits hard.

I always thought that if I was more x (yes, you fill in the variable - I probably thought it), then I'd be happier and feel more competent. However, as I worked to achieve my goals towards x, I still had a lingering sense of "oh, I am here because of luck" or "I made it here because other people took a chance on me." That, my friends, is impostor syndrome.

Here I was - sitting in my room thinking that if I had a better title, I would feel more in charge. Fast forward to me getting the titles I wanted, and I still felt like an impostor. Even when others are telling me that I do a good job, a part of me wonders if they're saying these positive things to be kind. It's a real drag to have this much self-doubt, y'all.

It's comforting yet - un...comforting... to know that this stays with you regardless of level. In speaking with Lily, she confirmed that impostor syndrome is not something that really goes away very easily. You can manage it through therapy - and by breaking down other facets of your life. However, you really have to stay on top of it and stay cognizant of how it's influencing you in daily life.

One thing that I must (briefly) talk to you about is the experiences of someone who is a young woman of color in business. People often don't take you seriously. They want you to stay in your lane. They don't really value the input that you have, at least - not so much as your male counterpart, who happens to also be white... and older. Of course, I don't even need to say that being white, male, and older is not a crime. (I love Bernie Sanders, for example - who is all of those things.) However, there are real struggles to being young, a woman, and a woman of color in the workplace.

When you get a promotion, you're thankful, but you also simultaneously feel the need to double down and work doubly hard to show that you've earned it. Never mind the fact you've already been busting your rear to be considered in the first place. How about when something goes less than ideal? Even if the majority of the situation was out of your control, you will find a way to find your own faults in this first. This is because it's both a learning opportunity, and it's also how you're preparing to talk about it with your managers, who you may already think thinks that you're incompetent. There are a lot of nuances to identity in the workplace - but this is of course just naming a few. Don't even make me tell you the story of when I took on my boss's job when she quit, as well as the work of 2 other people and my own duties - only for my female boss to still question how I was able to land my current job. Look, it's my way of saying that my experiences have contributed to my impostor syndrome.

Coffee dates

Networking is one of the most important things you can do in the working world. LinkedIn is a great example of how people network. However, LinkedIn is merely a tool you can use to network. Sending someone an invite on LinkedIn simply shows that you're connected; however, it is not as powerful as a personal interaction with a colleague.

When I started my current job, I reached out to Lily to learn from her. She was very warm and agreed to a coffee date. She encouraged me to schedule coffee dates with others at the company as well, so I did. I was able to build relationships with my colleagues from the get-go. I got to learn about my coworkers, and what they do at the company, -- and it was great visibility.

Find what drives you each day at your job and highlight that

Finally, if you're someone who finds it difficult to find the motivation to go to your job, this section is for you.

First off, great if you love your job. You're one of the lucky ones! It's wonderful when passions can be sustained and afford one a comfortable style of living.

However, for many people - jobs serve as a means to an end. For years, I wanted to be a philanthropist/humanist/volunteer when I grow up. That was always my goal - and in many ways, it still is. However, there aren't a ton of great ways to follow this passion while setting yourself up for a comfortable lifestyle. I want to be able to support my elderly parents and pave the path for future generations to be comfortable. I grew up paycheck to paycheck, so it wasn't very different keeping that up to volunteer and strive to be a philanthropist and humanist. However, over time - I realized that there were other ways to support people than just barely scraping by in my own life. After all, do you really want to stay poor to help people who are even poorer than you are? I just don't think that's how that should work.

So for me, a job is indeed a means to an end. It's important to find the things you like about your job to make it feel tolerable. I would hate for someone to stay at a job that makes them miserable. Of course, that's easier said than done. Very quickly - if you feel miserable at your job, please be looking for a new job. In the meantime, take into consideration these questions for some copium.

• What makes your job bearable?
• Countless jobs - limited time - one you.
  • Why this job initially?
  • Why keep staying at this job?
  • What motivators do you have to get you through the day?
  • What daily things do you enjoy that keep you coming back?

Fin

1. Companies don't care about you.
   • Teams and colleagues can care about you - companies cannot.
2. Being kind and nice doesn't equate to taking someone's bullsh*t.
3. Work-life balance.
4. Always be interviewing.
5. Imposter syndrome hits at all levels.
6. Coffee dates are the best way to network.
7. Find what drives you each day at your job and highlight that.