It's hard-pressed to find people without impostor syndrome nowadays. With so many stimuli coming at us from all angles, it's easy to think that we're not doing enough - or that we are not enough.

Defining Impostor Syndrome

You may also see this spelled as "imposter syndrome," but what is it?

a psychological condition that is characterized by persistent doubt concerning one's abilities or accomplishments accompanied by the fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of one's ongoing success

MERRIAM-WEBSTER

In short - you feel like your success is undeserved. Typically, this has no logical basis, but it's still something that plagues the back of your mind. If left unattended, impostor syndrome can really mess you up - take it from me.

An Example of Impostor Syndrome

As I write this, my current book of business at my main job is stable and calm. Rather than taking that as a win (knowing full well about the ebbs and flows of the business I'm in... and knowing that things will get crazy again shortly), I sit here battling guilt every second of my day. It's extremely unhealthy.

On the flip side, when my book of business was going crazy with the market a few weeks ago, I still sat there and blamed myself for not doing enough to ensure calmness and stability, despite working long days.

It's a lose-lose situation.

Impacts of Impostor Syndrome

There are multiple negative side effects of impostor syndrome. I've listed a few that have come up for me:

1. Prevention of new roles and opportunities
2. Burnout
3. Other impacts on my mental health

Prevention of new roles and opportunities

Due to my own personal perceptions, I've always thought that I wasn't ready to take on more responsibilities or visibility. I have passed up on opportunities because I counted myself and my abilities out before I even tried.

Let's get real - even now, with blogging - I have impostor syndrome which nixes more than half of my ideas. This extends into other areas of my life, such as video, music, and other forms of creative expression. One day, I hope to be brave enough to extend my reach to other avenues too.

Burnout

Due to the "I'm a fraud - and I'm going to be found out" mentality - I often put in a lot of hours at work. In my personal life, it just doesn't feel like I'm doing enough. This makes me want to try even harder - so I put in more hours, and take on more responsibility - the point of it being borderline unrealistic.

Think about it - this also creates a situation where my deliverables may not be as high in quality due to how much my focus/attention is split. Rather than dedicating myself to a few things that I really care about or want to dedicate my time to, I feel that I must do more. As a result, I'm sleeping less, and I'm not at my "A-game," which sets me up for further disappointment.

Other impacts on mental health

The last thing I will say about impostor syndrome is that constant self-doubt and worry could also contribute to anxiety and depression. However, no clear relationship has been proven yet in a clinical research paper. Maybe one day, we can do something concrete to confirm or deny the correlation or causation between impostor syndrome and depression.

For now, I would recommend this article from a former study that said there is some type of relationship that may exist between impostor syndrome and depression.

Battling Impostor Syndrome

So how can we deal with this? There are a few ways:

1. Walk it back
2. Talk it out
3. Practice self-love
4. Write down your achievements

Walk it back

Think about it - like really think about it. Say you got a promotion - and you're super excited. However, a little time has passed and now you're wondering if you deserve it. If you've experienced this, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Can relate

I recently got a promotion at work - and yes, while I was very excited... it has also contributed to some of my guilt. Despite having laid the groundwork for my clients and my book of business, I still feel like I haven't done enough. Some of my thoughts include:

• I was lucky that I had x manager - because he was good at talking me up to others, that I was seen and had this opportunity.
• My clients aren't as busy as my colleagues' clients, so of course, I'm going to fare better.
• I forgot to chase this and this item, therefore, I am bad at my job.
• I still haven't finished what I needed to do, and I worked 11 hours today. I'm so incompetent.
• My buddies don't need me anymore - there's nothing else I can do to contribute meaningfully anymore.

How ridiculous is that? I had to walk it back and think about all of the work I put in, to do the following:

1. Train my clients on the product
2. Train them about the process
3. Assist them in how to best work globally
4. Assisting in training newer hires and various colleagues in the company to understand the business and different processes

Those are only some of the things I've done. Some of the acts of love towards my colleague are also outside of my expected job duties. When I frame it this way, it's easier to see how much work I've put in.

Talk about it

One of the best ways to tackle mental hardships is to talk about them. With impostor syndrome, it is no different. When you can, talking to a professional is also extremely helpful.

When you say things out loud, you can really hear how you sound. For those of us who already understand how we sound, talking about it out loud helps the other person to reassure us that what we are perceiving isn't what's realistic.

Practice self-love

While it's nice to have that external validation and it can actually ground us - ideally, we would be able to resolve this internally without outside intervention. We need to come to the point of realizing that who we are is enough. Simple things such as rewarding yourself in a small way after doing something unpleasant can be a quick way to show ourselves appreciation for the effort we just put out into the world. Other ways include journaling, in particular - gratitude journals, exercising - because of endorphins, and even writing a list and checking things off. I know this sounds super cheesy - but it's so worth it.

Can relate

On my worst days, I make myself write down all of the little things that went right. See the below example of how I actually did this when I was having a hell day back in September:

I also am a huge fan of lists. If you can, write it down the old-school way - or even oldish school. The feeling of checking something off or literally taking your pen and making the strike motion on your completed item is unparalleled. Because I'm a fan of trying to be kind to the earth, I used to have a list on a Word document and then just delete the line or strike it off that way. Now, I use my iPad on most days and if it's not readily available, I write it down on a piece of paper. Once my task is complete, I use my pen that's compatible with the iPad to cross it off, check the box - or... I just do that via paper and pen.

Also - on endorphins, I will just quote the great Elle Woods -- but like the first part haha.

Write down your achievements as you go

To directly deal with impostor syndrome, write down your accomplishments. Take the time to celebrate even the little things that you do. My dad always says "even $1 adds up to $100 over time" and uses that mindset to curb spending. For my dad, that comes easily given his life experiences.

Can relate

I often look back at some of my experiences and wonder if I even made a difference. For example, during my internship - my school had a policy that prevented me from driving around the children in my personal car. However, the organization I volunteered for required that their staff did this. This restricted my counseling sessions to either in the office or in-home where I'd bring my supplies to the kids and their families. There were also occasions where I would be the co-therapist, but it was always just whoever was available and could be a good fit. All this to say that from a day-to-day perspective, the things you do may not feel so significant.

For example:

• "Assisted department leads with grant funding"
• The actual impact: it allowed that department to serve underserved children and their families for the next 5 years.
• This becomes: Through assisting department leads with grant funding, I was able to help secure funding for the early-childhood mental health department to continue to serve children and their families for the next half a decade.

Fin

All in all - this took me all day to write.

Ironically, my impostor syndrome made me re-think and rewrite a few things several times. So I wish I could say that personal growth is easy. The truth of the matter is that it isn't. However, it's made even harder when we don't give ourselves the proper grace for what we are capable of - and how far we've come. We need to be kind to ourselves and understand that we all go at our own pace. There is no need to compare our individual journeys to those of other people, or even personal timelines that we self-imposed. I know it's easier said than done - but we have to try.

We are worth it.